Self assured people have nothing to prove
I’ve observed some cases where people don’t seem to know when to stop!
Are there really only two answers — yes and no? Only two sides — right and wrong or two colours — black and white? Are we such primitive beings that we cannot entertain two or more concepts at the same time... without personalising? Does everything always have to be about us?
How many of us can consider the situation from the other person’s viewpoint?
How often do you take the organisational perspective, and then look at universal ramifications? Most of us rage ahead simply because Ego must speak first. Ego must speak loudest!
Swiss psychologist Carl Jung spoke about our “shadow”. He said that individually and collectively, we have repressed a huge amount of guilt and shame about ourselves. Our fear of facing our weaknesses is so strong that we often project our faults onto others, we make them wrong for whatever it is we hate in ourselves.
This is commonly seen in societies, even countries where people wage war on others, accuse and attack them for what turns out to be a reflection of their own crimes and indiscretions. I’m thinking the United States, Iraq, Guantanamo Bay and weapons of mass destruction. I’m thinking religious fundamentalism. What are you thinking?
The map is not the territory. The menu is not the meal. Although of the same species, our thinking can be totally different. Perceptions, prejudices, interpretations, assumptions, expectations, deletions, generalisations, distortions occur naturally simply because we value things differently.
The meaning of our communication is the response we get. Ever done something you thought would blow your partner’s mind only to find that they blew their top instead? We may set out with the best intentions but there’s no surefire
way to guarantee how others receive our message, is there?
What do we do when situations don’t go according to (our) plan?
Some folks behave like (self-appointed) movie directors. They believe they decide what roles people should play. In their mind, every “actor” must perform according to their script.
And when we don’t get our way, like spoilt children, we pout, blame, withhold, criticise and bad-mouth. Like bullies, we want to win (over the weak?) How come we interpret every victory, benefit or success that someone else receives as something that’s taken from us? When others do better, we see it as a threat, our sense of self is diminished.
Those who have limited ability to think, communicate, collaborate and resolve differences end up getting angry. Those who have a fragile sense of who they are and what they’re actually capable of, get angry. Self-assured souls have nothing to prove. They are unshakeable, un-insult-able. Check yourself. How often do you get defensive... or aggressive? The more uncertain we are about ourselves, the more sensitive we become to those around us, and the more we try to be someone we’re not. We become very concerned about what others think about us, and we continually seek approval from everyone around us. As a result, we become susceptible to guilt, shame and humiliation.
What stops us from just allowing people to be who they are? Instead of working so hard to control, why can’t we just let go, relax, accept and appreciate? When are we going to notice that we’re all so different and yet alike in that we all want power to make our own choices, each one fighting for the freedom of self-expression?
The whole thing is about integrity and being our real and actual selves. In essence we are pure potential.
Everything that is not about love comes from fear. Anger comes from fear. When we are untrue, we begin to sell ourselves short. The only way to restore our integrity is to reclaim our true selves.
the real things that happened to us people. i have to admit it. the truth.
sources : new straits times, on Sunday Life & Times.
http://www.nst.com.my/nst/articles/GETALIFE_Betruetoself/Article/
